How to Feel and Look Beautiful in Your 30s and 40s

The one thing that never goes out of style?  CONFIDENCE!  I may be getting closer to 40 but I’ll tell you a secret, I’ve never felt so beautiful in my whole life!  Even with ageing and after having 2 kids,  I feel like I’m exactly where I want to be.  What’s the secret?  I’m finally taking care of myself.  I stopped making excuses that I don’t have time for self-care because I’m “too busy” and I started making more time for me.  Here is a list of 10 ways to achieve the confidence you deserve!

Up, Up and Away!

This balloon installation in Calgary was a week-long pop-up art exhibit last month. My photographer friend Jessica Gray and I literally jumped at the chance to get over to this old house before it was gone.  Beakerhead is a yearly event that brings artists, scientists and engineers together to design cool installations and experiments for the public to enjoy.

I want to be really open in this post and share everything I do because looking good and feeling confident on the outside translates to higher productivity and self-esteem.  And it’s not even hard to achieve!  If you don’t think people care how you look, then you are wrong!   Your appearance is the very first thing people see when they look at you, and in that second, they make a snap judgement about you.  Seriously.  It’s not hard to look good, you just have to make an EFFORT!  Here are my secrets:

Skincare

As you age, your skin is the most important part of your morning and nightly routine.   Find a cleaner, toner, serum and moisturizer that works for your skin tone and apply them twice a day.  Do some research and see which ones products you need, whether it be for texture, toning, fine lines, wrinkles or sun spots!  Check out procedures like dermaplaning and micro-needling to help rejuvenate your skin and add collagen.  Another important thing to make a point of doing daily: drink LOTS of water!

Makeup

I wear makeup. Every.  Single.  Day.  I get up in the morning and I “put on my face” and it sets my confidence level.  I have makeup on when I drop my son off at school, I wear it to go to Walmart or even to the gym.  If I have to spend 20 minutes doing it every morning then it’s 20 minutes well spent for feeling confident for the next 16 hours. It’s time spent on myself, which is never time wasted.  Don’t get in that mom rut where you stop caring about your appearance!  How many times do you run into someone you know during the day unexpectedly?  Well, now you don’t ever have to feel a lack of self-confidence in those situations.  My mantra is: Dn’t leave the house without macara and lipstick.

Botox

I don’t know why people are scared to admit this!  We all hate wrinkles and wish we could get rid of them so why be secretive about the fact that we do?  I will scream from the rooftops, “I love Botox!”.  I’m not scared to share it, because it’s done wonders for my face.   I started getting medical botox because I was grinding my teeth pretty severely at night.  Obviously, I was nervous at first but it’s not nearly as scary as you think.

Since I started getting Botox last year, it has not only reversed my wrinkles but it’s made me look younger.  I was really self-conscious about two very deep expression lines on my forehead and after one treatment, they disappeared.  I also use it around my eyes as a preventative measure.

Enhance

There are so many cosmetic procedures out there to enhance your natural beauty!  Fake eyelashes, lip fillers, eyebrow tinting, microblading, whatever!  I’m not at all saying that you need these things but like Botox, if there is something that you want to change slightly, then do it!  Don’t be ashamed.  I personally love my monthly eyebrow tinting and wax and my eyelash serum that makes my lashes grow longer and fuller.  If it increases confidence, then do it.

Hair

Here is another aspect of your self-care that should always be part of your morning routine.  Even if you don’t have time to wash your hair every day (I only wash mine every 4-5 days) you can still make it look beautiful without a lot of maintenance.  As many of you know, I have hair extensions because I wanted to have thicker, fuller hair.  My hair just wasn’t the same after having kids!  It was important to me and worth every penny.  No matter what type of hair you have, simple things can be done.  Use a blow dryer and a round brush.  Curl your ends to add more volume and style.  Don’t have time to wash?  Spray some dry shampoo on your roots, throw in a pretty braid or redefine your curls with some mousse.

Sleep

Studies show that adults need 7-9 hours of sleep per night.  How many of you are getting this much?  I think we can all agree that a horrible night’s sleep leaves us looking equally horrible the next day.  It’s hard not to stay up late, especially after the kids have finally gone to bed.  But if you’re feeling and looking tired frequently, try going to bed earlier.  I’m typically asleep by 10pm and up at 6am.  If you’re feeling and looking tired frequently, try going to bed earlier.  Your mind and body will thank you!

Exercise

Getting to the gym can be such a drag some days but if you set a routine or even one day per week that you can commit to, it’s worth it!  Weight is something that so many people struggle with, especially as our metabolisms decrease over time.  Set a goal and challenge yourself to make it happen!  I download my favourite podcast, get in the zone and sweat for an hour once or twice a week.  I struggle with stress and anxiety and I find the mental benefits from burning energy are really beneficial.  It also helps me not to snap at my kids so often.  😉

Healthy Eating

I would never give up coffee or wine but I do try to eat healthier these days.  I am diligent about eating lots of fruits and vegetables. Think more about meal planning!  I take vitamins every morning.  I do eat indulge once in a while but it’s all about moderation!  It’s a good mindset to instil in your children as well.  A balanced diet is everything!  If you want to lose weight, the secret isn’t some crazy diet where you starve yourself, it’s healthy eating AND exercise.  You can’t achieve results without both!

Clothing

Ok ladies, especially moms… you gotta dress the part.  Whether your style is dressy or casual, you have to own it!  Spend time on your wardrobe.  If you are going out in public in flannel pyjama bottoms and your husband’s trucker hat, then you need to wake the heck up!  You should care what you look like.  It’s not a shallow statement, it’s a about personal care.  It’s always better to be overdressed than underdressed.  I’d much rather people look at me and think, “wow, she really takes care of herself” than “eek, she really doesn’t take care of herself”.  Am I right?

Me Time

Life is crazy sometimes and we all need a break.  Time to unwind and relax.  Your mental health is so important and often the first thing we overlook.   Set time aside each day or at least each week to do things solo.  Even if you have to hire a babysitter or trade off with a friend, DO IT! If you feel like somedays your only identity is “mother” than schedule in some me time to do the things that YOU love doing.  That’s what this whole post boils down to: take care of yourself!

Love and health,

Kiki

Photography by the lovely J.Gray Photography / Instagram